What Family Means to a Big Brother (and a New Father)

Family. It’s a word that conjures up images of cozy movie nights, chaotic holiday traditions, and the 16-hour flight to Johannesburg followed by a 5-hour drive to your parents’ house (well, maybe for Chloe and I). But being a big brother to over 400 siblings – and husband, son and recently, dad – has continued to change what family means to me, even with my favorite people scattered across the world!

The Unlikely Bond of Brotherhood

For the last 28 years, I have had the pleasure of being a big brother to Chloe Maxwell through many high and low points of life. We have both travelled the world together and split our relationship across up to 13 hours of time zone changes, bonding us as siblings who did not have the most typical childhoods. Honestly speaking, the challenges this distance created helped us grow closer and today I consider Chloe to be one of my closest friends.

12 Years ago, I watched Chloe become a “big sister” to Joshua, and together we are the older siblings to over 400 kids in Eswatini, thanks to Heart for Africa and Project Canaan. Imagine having a family that big— being a big brother to Chloe and all these children has taught me that family isn’t just about blood; it’s about the relationships we build, the support we give, and the love we share, no matter the distance.

Navigating New Roles: Husband and Father

16 Years ago, I met my wife, Jane, on a service trip with Heart for Africa in Eswatini when we were only 14 years old. Marrying her taught me to feel a love I had never felt before and has added a new chapter to our family story. Being a husband has pushed me to think about partnership in a whole new light – it’s about being there, listening instead of advising, and ensuring there’s always Breyer’s Natural Vanilla ice cream in the freezer. And just when I thought I understood love, along came our firstborn, Beck.

Just over 2 weeks ago, I became a dad. Despite being color-blind, I now see color everywhere I look and these last few weeks of sleepless nights have been the greatest in my life. It’s one thing to be a big brother, another to be a husband- but this new chapter of fatherhood is something I have been waiting for, for a long time. 

I have been very fortunate to have my parents, Ian and Janine Maxwell, to look up to throughout my life. As a child they exposed me to the world and as an adult I frequently seek their guidance on life decisions. Stepping into fatherhood, I can’t help but be thankful to have a father like my dad to use as an example of how I can raise Beck.

So, What Does Family Mean to Me?

Family is this ever-expanding, all-encompassing universe of connections. It’s the shared history with Chloe, the collective responsibility for my siblings in Eswatini, the partnership with Jane, and the new paths I’m forging with Beck. It’s about embracing every new role, learning from each other, and finding joy in the chaos of it all.

Sure, it’s not always picture-perfect. There are challenges, like scheduling family Zoom calls across 3 time zones (one of which doesn’t adhere to Daylight Savings) or realizing Beck had a blowout on the way to our doctor appointment and our beautiful diaper bag is sitting in his nursery. Ahh, parenting. But at the end of the day, it’s these very challenges that make the tapestry of family life so vibrant and full of color.

Family, in all its forms, shapes us in ways we never expect. It’s a wild, wonderful journey of growth, laughter, and learning. And honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Spencer Maxwell, Heart for Africa (Canada) Board Member